This week please panic about: Bees, Landfill, Gandhi-Greens or Techno-GreensNo Ecologist newsletter for two weeks - but finally, they've made up for it with an edition of spectacular inanity.
First topic - where are all the bees going? Apparently bees are dying off all over the world. Naturally, the Ecologist's nitwit correspondent blames GM crops and EM radiation; even though bees are disappearing where GM crops have never been grown and the EM radiation emitted by the Sun is millions of times greater than that from your iPod.
Imagine the conversation deep in the bowels of the Ecologist:
"Zac, where are the bees?"
"I had one of my maidservants take them away for cleaning."
"What? All the bees in the world?"
"No silly, the B's on your keyboards. My psychic said 'There will B trouble at the office this week.' So I had them removed as a precaution."
"We believe in the Precautionary Principle." Say all staff in hushed tones.
"No Zac, I mean where are the buzzy bees that flit from flower to flower to pollinate the fruit and vegetables?"
"Ah ... you should have said. That smacks of interference with the natural order. Who are these bees to be picking up pollen from pistels willy-nilly and shoving it down the stamens of unrelated species. It's genetical modificational gone mad!"
"Bees are all employed by Monsanto," quoth Melchett, the loyal Fool as he pranced atop the spring-water-cooler. Hey Zac, how much subsidy did you get for your farm this year?"
"Over £5,000 ... that will make a nice little bet when I go to the casino tonight."
"Ha ha, Ya Boo, I got more than youhoo - they gave me £55,000."
Zac was not amused (he rarely is - £10 prize for a photo of him smiling - not counting when he emerges from his mistress's house). He picked up a fly-swat and whacked Melchett unconscious.
{ 0 komentar... Views All / Send Comment! }
Posting Komentar