This week please panic about: Nothing?!?!Apologies to all who look forward to a fresh new example of Dumbness from The Ecologist magazine every week. Each day we have waited with bated breath for the Ecologist weekly newsletter to appear in our mailbox - but no such luck.
Perhaps ... can it be true ... the environment has been solved!?!?! No more problems for The Ecologist and its deeply committed band of confused, ill-educated, street-performers and aristocratic trust-fund teenagers to solve?
Well there's not so happy a reason. As you may know, a few months ago Ecologist readers were asked to panic about computers and the internet. Apparently they cause invisible waves of naughtiness and toxicity that poison the minds of all right thinking people. Some of the staff started to wear large turbans made from aluminium foil to protect their sensitive brains. As an extra security measure, Zac Goldsmit ordered all computers removed from the office to be replaced by an all-organic, silicone-free, eletromagnetic-wave-free substitute.
In this eco-internet, happy thoughts are sent along thick fibres spun from organic hemp and dipped in a pool of mother's milk. When someone drinks it (or uses it in tea) the thoughts disperse around The Ecologist office much more efficently than by email. Zac Collects all the Ecologist news this way and send it written out on strips of organic mashed potato using the very ecological language cuneiform.
Back at Zac's eco-farm, the Butler (as a working class person, he is not susceptible to the electromagnetic waves that disrupt the brains of the more highly evolved Ecologist staff) then enters all the information on the Ecologist website at the only computer terminal allowed to be connected to the internet (inside an old bank vault lined with 18 inches of lead) somewhere in the bunker Zac is building in preparation for the End of the World (expected November 9th, 2013).
This week, we understand, Zac and the gang have taken the Goldsmith Executive Winnebago (6 beds, 2 kitches, 4 baths, media suite, executive kitchen, staff quarters for 8) to the Climate Camp and since Zac never travels without the Butler, there is no one who can get the Ecologist Newsletter out this week.
Oh Well -- let's hope normal service resumes next week!
{ 0 komentar... Views All / Send Comment! }
Posting Komentar